Over midnight meal at Denny’s-

“Your female friends drink by themselves?- fiance

“The majority do.”- me

“That sounds like a male thing. You gotta stop hanging out with lesbian butch girls.” -fiance

What?

“I’m putting every odd thing you say on tumblr.”- me

“Glad I can contribute to your life.”- fiance

Yes. Contribute…

Listening to “rap” music-

“Is my butt big enough for a lap dance?”- fiance

No. Not it’s not.

On him getting home from work-

“This car is dirty.” -me

“At least it matches me.” -fiance

I’m not sure what that means.

On the subject of getting married-
“What song do you want for the garter toss?” -me

“GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS!” -fiance

I can’t wait.

“I think there are worms in my soup!!” -me

“Its called noodles.” -fiance

A few days ago, I kissed his neck as I always do when he gets home. I turned to face him and ask, “why are you so salty after work every day?” His response was, “you wouldn’t eat an unseasoned steak, would you?”